Too Many Suckas

and not enough time.


Take It

ya in or ya out?

who's in for the new cali slut shirt?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ffffresh/65974087/

who's in for a cali slut hoodie?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ffffresh/66218381/



order will be placed soon.

no mo'indians

*stupid drivers
*gas being so pricey
*people farting in the car and then locking the windows so you can't get fresh air (MIKE)
*people who say they're humble, but can't stop talking about themselves
*the stupid fuckin humps song from bep
*global warming (yay it's 80 degrees in november, boo we're killing the environment)
*not winning the lotto
*having to wear office monkey suit
*not making enough money for wearing an office monkey suit
*not having time to hang out with the sluts

it ain't no celebration bitches!

-my electronic shit fucking up [sidekick into jacuzzi, but then again i did fall in with a nude jeri lee. did you hear that phil? and then the BENQ dvd-burner going on the fritz, MIKE!]

-phil ain't thankful of this

-warranty policies
-eros not hooking up a fansign from christine mendoza
-taking pictures for girls self-conscious about a poor body image [don't ask for pictures if you don't like yourself!]
-debt
-graduating college [most expensive B.S. I ever got]
-being overqualified and still not getting the job
-marc ecko's getting up being pushed back until feb.
-living at home
-selling out
-seriously though, this weather is whack, it makes me want to pick my nose all the time...

thank you very little...

- keller williams; the two faced motherfuckers that ruined it for me.
(not all of them, but enough to make me not want to be with their company anymore)
- luxury motorworks; big brake kit, that leaked all my brake fluid overnight.
- rocks; you pieces of shit made me go through 2 windshield in less than a year!
- gas; you know i need you, but why you gotta be so expensive?

spank you very much.

- dudes being dudes!! (well put, lazysundae).
- falling out of the loop due to fucking finals.
- this miserable dry air making my skin all dry and crackly.
- not having a firm job lined up post-graduation yet. sucks.
- people who DO have fancy jobs flaunting it in my face all the time.
- running out of loan money and hitting up the folks.
- spending my weekends in the library.
- the inevitable thanksgiving traffic i will face driving up north on wed.
- eating my daphne's chicken too quickly and gettin' all gassy. *burp*



happy thanksgiving, sluts.

f you, pilgrims

* that shitty ass restaurant job that i couldn't quit no matter how hard i tried.
* dudes being dudes.
* falling off and injuring all 5 lumbar vertibrae, misaligning my hip and getting my tailbone pwned.
* timing.
* coming up w/ snappy retorts days after the incident.
* having a bff die a week after i get out here and flying back for the viewings and memorial service and then choking when i got up to talk about him, forgetting everything i wanted to say.
* watching sahara. in the theater.
* traveling during rush hour in nyc.
* etc. etc. amen.

TOPIC ANNOUNCEMENT - 11:21:2005

Being a few days away, i thought we might like to post what we are NOT thankful for.
General gripes about things/people that have bugged us this past year.

Unthanksgiving.

Another reason I'm going to hell...

At the abbey there is a statue of the virgin mary. similar to this one.



while there was drunken friendcest going on two of my friends decided to make out with the statue. to which there was very loud shouts of STOP MOLESTING THE VIRGIN MARY! and SACRILEGE!!!! and i swear someone lamented Oh we're all going to hell


leave it to my friends to slut up the virgin mary

Sweaty and Salty

Okay, my story for this topic isn't as crazy as Alexis' or incestuous as Elaine's, but I get ewww-ed out when I think about it.

It was a warm summer day, I was headed to see a matinee at the theater by South Coast Plaza, off of Sunflower. I park in an adjacent lot.

I'm walking through the parking lot, from my car to the theater, when I approach a break up old red hatchback. I think, "funny, the windows are down. but i guess no one's really jackin that POS anyway..."

As I get closer, I see that someone is sitting in the driver's seat. This car happens to be in line with the shortest route to the theaters, so I pass right by the car, on the driver's side. I take a glance in as I'm approaching the car from behind.

Of course dude is getting the slobberiest blowjob from some chick with huge hair.

The blowjob doesn't bother me so much. They weren't attractive people, so... yeah, leave them to their own devices, but I mean... in a freakin hot ass car in the middle of summer?? You know how rank that shit must be down there? Sweat... Salt... Saliva... POS car smell... Dude was chubby, too. And I don't just mean down there....

Imagine, like... afterwards, getting real sleepy, but then you can't sleep because you be smellin that shit. The odor invades your interior... like fucking garlic on your breath. And you know that cloth interior had to soak up some of that delicious body fluid.

Can't they just wait til midnight and take their family to Newport Beach and tell their kids to go play while they make out there like normal Mexicans in the area?

ayo!

sluttiest thing i've seen?? i thought that said "sluttiest thing you've done" - good thing i didn't incriminate myself further.

back in college we used to go to nyc every month or so and go to clubs. somehow we always ended up at one of gatien's (i.e. druggy extravaganza). at the tunnel they had a unisex bathroom and we used to see some crazy shit in there. dudes getting blowjobs in stalls and girls getting fucked on the counter where the sinks were. i think i saw a girl on the dancefloor getting fucked on top of a speaker.

things you don't want to be remembering at 7:30am. good lawd.

slutterific birthdays

Last Saturday my friend Ronald turned 25. We went to the Abbey and everyone got drunk. The drunkeness turned into everyone making out with everyone in public. Girl on Girl, Guy on Girl, Guy on Guy it all happened in a slutterific fashion. Mike witnessed it and I could feel the WTFs on his face. I chalked it up to a normal outting with my friends. Lesson learned: Mike thinks my friends are dysfunctionally incestuous. Is he right? absolutely

Ain't jealousy a BITCH?!

The new QLAQ topic is the most slutty thing I've seen in public? Man... I would be KING of seeing shit in public lately. I have a love/hate relationship with my freelance job.

Speaking of which...



Phil.lies... you should've gotten a sidekick brother. You would've gotten one of these, but instead Jeri made one for Eros. AND if you picked up your phone when I called, she would've said some very nice/naughty things to you. But Eros said you ain't real good with that whole picking up the phone business. TOO BAD SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!

But yo, the Phillies better holla up if they want a fansign from Luana Lani when I help Eros get another one to add to his collection.

EROS, hook up one from Christine Mendoza for me. GOTDAMN IT!

HAZHAZ. the next shit.

Look At All These Rumours

Okay, just one new one to report. But I found it kinda funny.

Apparently, it has been talked about and spread... that I used to date a pornstar. I thought maybe it meant that someone I used to date became a pornstar, but the rumour is such that I was dating a pornstar knowingly, i.e. while she was in the business.

That's all well and good... However, here's the kicker:

They sayin that porn star was a cracka ass cracka!! THE FUCK!?!?
That's where the rumour loses all validity and believability. PSSSHHH. As if.

Whoever it's supposed to be, she probably really does live in my area. Shit, she probably went to my HS.

stand up and say haaaayy

things i've gotten by using my boobs:
* free drinks
* free drugs
* free food
* a $200 dinner
* dvd player
* 40gb ipod
* tshirts galore
* stuffed animals
* offers to fly me across the country

hay guys.

as for slutty things i've done, try wearing whiskey goggles for the better part of a year. i hang my head in shame. yo, shut up ryan.

who's going to sf?

On A "Related" Note...

[credit to MassacreKing!]

Hi I'm Mike,

Topic Announcement: 09 Nov 2005

Being that the last topic was so wildly popular, let's hit'em with a one-two punch.
The new topic for QLAQ is:


The most slutty thing you have ever seen in public aka CSin at its worst/finest




Go, kids!

Who's The Real DooDoo

Meaning: who's really the shit.


My gripe is one that can apply in general, but it's most pertinent to the workplace, just from my own personal feelings.

At work, I do not like to know who is shitting/ just shit in the bathroom. I try not to look at the shoes under the stall door when I walk in and recognize that funny odor (even though it differs from person to person. I can't look at them the same for the rest of the day if I know that they took a dump on the work throne. I'm a shitbreak person myself, meaning: if i absolutely have to shit, i'm absolutely going home. If someone is shitting, making noises, stankin up the joint, I don't want to be able to mentally connect the dots with that experience and the actual person that I have to work with and see around.

It's just too... personal. Way more personal than I want to get with most anymore, not to mention a coworker.

Wok the Fuck

Hello. And welcome to Wok the Fuck.