gotojailgodirectlytojaildonotpassgodonotcollect$200

ice cream, gelato, sorbeto, softserve, whole pints, in a sugar cone, with sprinkles, cold stone creamery

new kids on the block, east 17

finishing a whole bottle of wine by myself

living beyond my means

crying at the movies

mr. men books

eating in bed

being a slut

.

guilty, guilty, guilty

The following are a list of some of the guilty pleasures I partake upon:

• Random/ Spontaneous Purchases- PSP and all the games that I don't play. DS and the games that I don't play. PS2 Slim and all the games that I don't play. Xbox and all the games that I don't play. Yes, these were all random/spontanous purchases. Man, having disposable income rocks.
• Chasing- Whether it be girls or other cars. *sigh* No comment on the chasing girls. But I am guilty of going 30 miles per hour over the limit on many occasions and reckless driving and gross exihibtions of speed. Fastest I have ever driven was 130MPH, didn't look down to see if i went faster.
• Fried Food- I love onion rings. That shit is like my kryptonite. MMMMMMMMM *drool*
• Modifying- Mainly my cars. Nothing its good enough/ looks good enough for me. I am scared to think about how much I've dumped into my car on modifications and for what? Extremely harsh/ rough ride quality, obnoxiously loud intake and exhaust, nauseous fumes/ emmissions, roughly 18 miles per gallon, and ONLY putting down 186 horsepower at the rear wheels. AWESOME!
• Cheating- I cheat. What can I say? Cali Sluttin' to the fullest. HA!
  

prazeres culpados

* going on aim express at work
* mtv's laguna beach
* always getting through half-way through a book and then not finishing
* quoting family guy
* watching the tele all day and making my brain ache
* cigarettes when i drink
* sushi
* laughing at stupid people
* laughing at fashion dont's
* stealing books from barnes and noble and borders
* farting in enclosed spaces
* laughing maniacly
* spending money at amoeba
* late night eating @ fred 62, ihop, albertos/alejandros, oh those donuts
* justin timberlake

there's probably so much more, but this is what i can think of right now.

should i be ashamed?

what prompted me to suggest this topic of guilty pleasures to eros was my newfound love of southern rap. specifically, texas rap. even more specifically, houston rap. paul wall, mike jones, david banner.

however... eros made an excellent point... there is nothing guilty about the pleasure i get from swishahouse music. ain't nothing to be embarrassed about.

thus, i had to really dig deep and think about a TRUE guilty pleasure. or pleasures. here are a few:

• flirting with guys i am not interested in
  
• saving text messages and re-reading them
  
• oreos
• saying mean things about dumb girls
• 'laguna beach' re-runs
• using my parents' nordstroms card for makeup and other overpriced products at my discretion
• the movie 'st. elmo's fire'
• my crush on ashton kutcher
• my attraction to guys who look like ashton kutcher
• falling in love with [almost] every guy i meet at some point (classic libra trait)

you be the judge.

Ski Mask Way

Not quite. But my guilty pleasure might just be stealing, thieving, switching price tags. I'm not going to say where, or that I even do it, but those who know me know the deal.

You might say, "Hey, !xobile, that's going to come back around to you."

You know what though? Those who believe in karma only get the bad end, so I try not to invest too much thought in those musings.
Could Karma be someone else's guilty pleasure?
Things that make you go... "HMMMMMMM."
(Besides when Elaine thinks about food at work.)

I guilty pleasure that I can confirm, however, would be chili cheese fries from The Hat around midnight (since they close at 1am) after a bit of drinking. Then going home and passing out. (After brushing my teeth of course, not brushing my teeth is not a guilty pleasure of mine. If it is one of yours, then please stay at least 5 feet away from me at all times.) The unhealthy, artery-clogging goodness can only be topped by one form of refreshment: Orange Bang.



ORANGE BANG.
KISS THE GAME GOODBYE.

in another note

CALLING ALL SLUTS



http://www.okcupid.com/slut

revenge on the web

www.revengeunlimited.com
there is no market that goes unservered.

www.thepayback.com
other people revenge stories

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
[Jules, Pulp Fiction 1994]

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
[WIlliam Congreve, The Mourning Bride 1697]

from "the revenge"

JERRY: What is the point of all this?

GEORGE: Revenge.

JERRY: Oh, the best revenge is living well.

GEORGE: There's no chance of that.

Up to P.A.R.

My favourite type of revenge is passive aggressive.
Not only can it be rather clever, but it's can also be quite hilarious.

There's just something about overwatering a roommate's plant after they've complained about you not watering it enough that is just so satisfying while tickling a funny bone. no homo.

Also, if they don't figure it out at first because it might be so after the fact that the victim doesn't have an idea of who did it and why right away, that only adds to my reasons of why i love passive aggressive revenge.

the quirky nature of P.A.R. makes for quite amusing observation and shake-your-head enjoyment.

i'm still plotting my revenge on these neighbourhood kids that put duct tape in the street that i happen to run over... a couple years back. they wont know what hit them. they better not move out soon.

Motivation, Not Guilt

being the OG aint all that its cracked up to be

as some of you may know i was the founding member of the 24 and unemployed club. my first tour of duty was short lived. it was the lesser part of a month, part of which my brother was in town for and then the group birthday trip to the 702. now i find myself back in the club and now i have no idea why the club was created. can anyone enlighten me? all i do i surf the internet and go to the gym. i work on my resume more than i play xbox live, which i purchased to kill time during this tour of duty. there are a couple of my friends that are also active members in this club, but surprisingly we dont kick it often. so, can someone figure out why there is the 24andU club? or can someone fucking give me a job. i dont ask for much. HA!
(this post was made on the psp)

End of the Year Shibangee Bang

I know that j9 is calling out Vegas on Sept 23-25 for the Sept birthdays, [mine, hers, and shellie's] mayhaps that could be the end of the year shibangeebang? Otherwise I say bbq or some form of bondfire? That's my 2bits.

sportin' the team colors

when life is winning and you are not

if you find yourself avoiding too many people too often...



just give me $250. i'll fake your kidnapping. different "theme" plans available, you can pick your level of aggressive or passive kidnapping, violent explosions are extra, and BYOB. i'll also split a percentage of your ransom with you.

this might be a good QLAQ business venture.

Avoision this Entry

Word. up.

also...

when i'm working at the restaurant and need a break i go into the bathroom, put the lid on the toilet down and just sit for about 5 minutes. and think about absolutely nothing. and you know what? i don't care if everyone thinks i'm taking a shit. smell for yourselves, morons. mango passion.

Nyeah, U Don't Know Me

Anybody unwilling to add someone you know in person on fster/ mysp? Actin' like you ain't seen their add msg or whatnot. Or maybe you've added them before and then taken them off your list. All to keep your list exclusive like there are a limited # of g-list spots or some shit. That counts as a duck move. I know some of y'all done it. Fess up.

On a totally unrelated note...

A 6-foot near-life size R.Kelly "action figure" . Where else but in Japan?

A Void

I avoided going to Mike's birthday dinner so I wouldn't see ....HAH.

I Gotta Go

Well, besides being able to talk on AIM with an away message up, not picking up my phone, and not saying hi to people... there isn't much in the way of people avoidance for me compared to the stories you all have shared.

There is this one girl I went to jr high with that lied about being with me in high school. We didn't even talk in HS, we didn't even go to the same HS. People would call her up and she'd talk softly on the phone. People would ask her why she was whispering and she'd tell them that I was over and I was still sleeping. THE FUCK?!??
This chick was a huge pathological liar, even back in Jr HS when she would lie about being a DJ with hella records and being in different bands (my favourite of which "sounds like MXPX").
Anyways, I saw her one day at UCI. And I did an "OH SHIT" bug-eye deal for like 0.5sec then I walked in a roundabout way to get to where I was going, trying to avoid her at all costs.
Alas, she saw me. But that didn't stop my determination to avoid her.
She said "hi!" and I just kept looking away as if I were deaf. She even grabbed my backpack, tugging on it.
I kept on keepin on, ready to plow her ass behind me. I was not going to acknowledge her presence.
She eventually let go and I was on my merry way, leaving behind a pathologically lying faux lover.

She also faked being pregnant in HS.

there's very few people in my life that i've gone out of my way to avoid, and usually it never comes to me having to hide in the grocery aisle like jahninja, but i almost always get a feeling of dread when i go somewhere where i THINK i'll run into someone i don't want to...

more often than not, i get that feeling when i go back to the 805. i have one or two mortal enemies from junior high that even now i dont want to have to talk to. one of them i fucked over by ratting him out to the cops when i got caught for some shit that the two of us had been doing (mainly vandalizing cars around our school). the other one... well... lets just say he would have fit right in with the "trenchcoat mafia," and yes, he even wears a trenchcoat. i remember he had this obsession with hitler, and he even had what was supposedly an actual SS knife. man he loved that castle wolfenstein shit too. he used to fuck around and throw nazi salutes and say random german shit. did i mention that this guy was indian american (south asian, not native american)? oh yeah, and he also showed me my first "faces of death video". dude was definitley twisted.

what freaks me out even more about dude is the circle of friends we both kept. back in grade school we used to joke around about growing up to be assassins. we even had a hit list, one that included all of our own names at the top of it (and for some reason mine was #1). anyways, it was all just talkin shit and joking around, but i swear, i keep thinking that dude took it seriiously. like he's on some steve-buscemi-in-billy-madison-putting-on-lipstick shit.

i mean, the likelyhood that some stupid grade school bullshit will come back to haunt me is zero to nill. but that doesn't keep me from watching my back in the 'nard....

What A Feelin

Is it Duck and Cover or Tuck and Roll???

In college I was one of those people where you couldn't step five feet and not say hi to someone. That's what happens when you're uber involved in clubs and retail customer service skills kick into overdrive at all times. I just couldn't seem to turn off the "Hi, How are you statements" when I saw someone I vaguely knew.

Nowadays I steer clear of nearly everyone from my past. Last week I was at dinner and I saw one of my old residents walk in with her parents. I did not want to deal with small talk like "OMG it's been forever!" or the classic "So...What are you up to?" So I avoided eye contact at all cost, attempted to sit in a way where she wouldn't see me, and stared at my menu like I was meticulously reading the King James bible.

When I first moved back home I'd see people I went to elementary school or high school and I'd just look at them blankly. There's always that first look of "Don't I know you..." and I just stare right back and just walk away. Lots of people are under the impression that you must be the first to say hello. Well lots of people aren't worth it, so I walk on by and go along with my business.

I really hate that feeling of walking into a mall, just knowing someone you know will see you there, but that quickly goes away when you just ignore everyone anyhow.

the only time i can really remember consciously avoiding people was when i worked at a certain grocery store -- let's call it "the big A" (it must remain sort of nameless as i am currently interning in their legal department). in my day-to-day life, i think i have always just chosen to be where i am totally comfortable and surround myself with drama-less people. i have a knack of givin' the old 'chop-chop' to people i don't want in my life due to their annoyingness or whatever.

but the big A was a different story. the fact it was across the street from UCI was a blessing and a curse. of course it was cool having friends come visit me, selling alcohol to my dorm mates freshman year, and getting invited to frat parties i would never go to. but it had it's drawbacks, that's for damn sure.

i can't remember the number of times i had to run down some aisle to avoid someone, or call another checker over to my checkstand so i didn't have to be up front. i had managers come over to let me out sometimes. i would hide in the coolers, in the freezerboxes, behind the video counter, whatever. yes, it was a tad overdramatic. but the thought of interacting with some of those fools - especially after things had soured, or gotten creepy, or even bitches i wanted to smack with one of those checkstand divider things - well, sometimes it was just too much. the frustrating part was that i was at work, which meant i generally had to remain 'professional' and have excellent customer service skills. i was lucky to have equally neurotic coworkers who we glad to help me avoid weirdo predators and guys asking me to be the mother of their children (ha!). i can vividly remember certain escape routes (most college kids don't even bother going over to the produce department - the liquor department must be avoided at all costs).

the big A was a lot like a big party, now that i think about it. there were always people showing up at different times who you either loved or made you cringe.

good times.

ducking fools left and right

i've been known to duck people from time to time.
ok. ALL the time.
it prolly has to do with the philosophy i picked up from Martin Lawerence's you so crazy dvd. when shit aint going my way/ i've had enough/ i'm over it i tend to say/ think PEACE. SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA! BYE!


this most recently happened with someone we affectionately called UT. so yall know the story, if not, leave a comment and i will edit accordingly. i simply stopped answering her calls, replying to her e-mails, etc. avoiding her isnt that hard, i dont hang out at any joints she frequenst cuz she all 'church-ie' and shit. i would guess i would say im "ducking" her. which is true. i just avoid her/ stopped all lines of communication. didnt answer her call on my birthday/ didnt reply to her email/ her card. and i didnt call her on her b-day.

another case that comes to mind that some of you my know was back in college. there was this chick that i was diggin and we had a class together. some shit went down. i stopped talking to her/ answering calls/ stopped replying to her emails/ i even forwarded them to all my friends (you know you've read it, i can post it if yall want)/avoided her club meetings/ gatherings/ etc. she obviously knew i was avoiding her so she stopped showing up to our class. which is cool i got to hang out w/ some qlaq'ers. the awesome things about this was that the chick knew i didnt want to see her so she made herself scarce. and i made myself scarce at her shit.

i got more, but i dont really want to put my shit on blast. and there will be a new one to add to the list after tomorrow. peace, ocean. see ya when i see ya. BYE!

im an asshole.

oooh bury your head in the sand

one time it was winter, and i was walking across 33rd street. and i saw 2 ppl from my high school class walking past me, 2 acquaintances that i really didn't care about catching up w/ and pretending i wanted to make plans w/ to see them again so i just put up my collar and ducked my head down.

another time i was working at a restaurant where a lot of asians ate. and ended up waiting on someone else from high school. motherfucker came back a couple months later with more ppl from high school! one girl was like "oh do you want ____'s number? she's here for a few days." i said no thanks. they never came back.

my friend tomo and i have similar views on ppl from our high school - NEVER AGAIN. so we hang out in places where we know they won't go. because they're just too sosi to come downtown, pare.

Havin' A Bad Day?

Kick Grandma!

surf n' turf = WHY?

whoever thought of combining these two land/sea specific meats is an asshole
...an obviously american asshole.

the surf n' turf combo; a classic example of excessive american decadence (redundant?)and though, there's probably no historical accuracy to any of this...i'm sure i'm not far from the truth.

it's like this--- when i think of the hick that stuck this combo on a platter at a very young, budding pre-Sizzler type restaurant chain...i see his (yes, this was obviously a man's idea) cowboy hat and aspiration to become employee of the month. His eyes light up and he says, "I needs me an idea-er. What's niiiiiiice and fancy? Steak is fancy. Lobster's fancy, too. Let's stick it on a plate...and make it DOUBLE FANCY!" ANd taaaaa-daaaaa! the trash rejoiced!

maybe one day, with the accompanying grace and wisdom of maturity i may openly receive this bountiful...uhm...bounty a' plenty. however, until then, i'mmmana think it's trashy, and not order that shit.

ps: can that picture be anymore phallic than it is?