day one - lainey

 day one 

today i put the call in to get you on hospice. i know you want to leave. i know you want to be with papa. i know you want to not be a burden. but you aren't a burden. no matter how many times i tell you that, you probably won't believe me. 

i feel like i've lost you so many times before. when you hurt me with your words. when we almost lost you with your stroke. when you started to fade. 

this moment hurts. i don't know how to say anything else. everything is different.