Going Out Sucks

Greg sat at home listening to oldies music on the radio. Frustrated, he switches off. “You’d think with a huge back catalog of music they wouldn’t have a rotation,” he muttered. He turned on the safe bet, internet radio streamed from the UK. Funny how you have to listen to music stations a few time zones away to hear good music from your own country.
He ran out of microwave pizzas, so he ate cereals and milk for dinner, sure he was going to be hungry again later. But that was perfect, since he was going out with his indecisive friends. Should push come to shove in the planning for the evening’s events, they can always end up watching him eat.
Funny thing about Greg going out with his friends was that he went out with them so he wouldn’t have to anymore. That is, he went out to meet new people so he wouldn’t have to always force the issue with his dull current friends. But he needed them to be around when he went out or else he would look like a loner desperate to not look like a loner anymore. It’s messed up, really, but he rationalized the situation by putting it that if his friends were more outgoing then he would not have to ditch them. It’s a bit of a pitfall, blaming your friends for being how they are; yet they are still your friends and it’s naïve to think that you can change someone.
This night his circle of friends ends up going to a bar/restaurant for some dinner and drinks. Greg is already over it before he even gets there. He knows that this is just another way for his friends to feel like they’re going out without actually going out. Technically, they are out of the house, but in essence, they’re not too far from the couch. You’re not doing anything active; you don’t really have to even move beyond pointing at the menu and signaling which dish is yours, which probably burns about the same amount of calories as pushing the buttons on your remote control. In reality, what exciting can really happen eating out at a restaurant. The case can be made that you might meet eyes with another patron across the room or your cute server just so happens to be getting off her shift just when your dining experience should be winding down, but that stuff is just all in the movies and in real life, you’re a bit creepy if you expect such to be the case every time you go out to eat. The girl across the room isn’t really interested in you, she only looks over because she can see you staring and she wants to point out to her boyfriend who keeps looking at her. The waitress does not like you in the least bit, but she’s been hit on enough times by enough guys to be jaded enough to think solely about the tip she’ll hopefully be getting should she maintain her nice façade and patronize your stupid jokes and silly attempts and winning her attention. Face it, beyond being fed, you’re overpaying for a motion picture pipedream facilitated by overpriced alcoholic beverages; and you think this is going out.
The food is good, like it usually is, but now comes the dreaded question: “What now?” Great, he’s been though this before. He gave up months ago on suggesting anything. Yet, to not seem like such the party pooper, he lists off a bunch of hollow potential plans knowing that no one will agree to them, though they’ll pretend to ponder the prospect of such endeavors. After 45 minutes of this, the party agrees to just head home.
This isn’t good enough for Greg, who sets off on his own, barhopping. Great, now he’s the loner in the bar looking like he’s waiting on some insanely hot girl to take pity and start talking to him then eventually hit it off and become a fun, young couple who go out, dance, have stimulating conversion, have quickies, dress well, make single people jealous, keep inside jokes, do little things to remind each other how much they’re in love, make each other smile, send emails from work, send text messages, sit and stare at one another, buy each other clothes that they think will make them look even more desirable, tell the other about their day, relax in each other’s arms, go to movies, take vacations around the world, throw dinner parties, sing in the car together, have pet names, go out to a game, go shopping, go to company parties, go to family functions, hold hands, sit next to each other, sit across from each other, talk your own language, be happy; just like in the movies. But it’s not going to happen, because going out sucks and you spent your money on dinner.