foot in my mouth

So in honor of this entry I shall picture of my high school friend's baby with her foot in her mouth.

In high school I seemed to do this a lot. Here are 2 examples that I can recall.

example one) there was this girl who had foul breath. it was seriously harsh, straight halitosis. she wasn't a popular girl, due to the halitosis, but she wished she was. so she would put out like no ones business. during chemistry class i was talking shit about how rank this chick's breath was...and she walked up right to the conversation. i didn't even stop. i think i said something like

"damn Rank Breath girl is killin me! she needs to get that shit checked with her dentist. it's probably halitosis!"

her face turned bright red. she laughed it off. all the people who were with me stared at me like WTF i can't believe you just said that. when rank breath girl left our group they said "wtf i can't believe you just said that!" and my response "like you wasn't thinking it!"

example two) i remember my senior year of high school we'd hang out after school just shootin the shit at the picnic tables before we'd go home, go to some sports practice, or go smoke cigarettes down the street. one day we were just sitting there when this annoying freshman girl who had a crush on one of my friends came up and started talking to us. she had the annoying high pitch cutsie voice. i couldn't stand the sound of her voice. when i would hear her in the halls i wanted to slap her, the fact that she was in front of me attempting a conversation was just killing me. and then the words came out of my mouth,

"Is that your real voice?"

She looked shocked.

"I'm serious. Do you really talk like that?"

She asked me "What are you talking about? Of course this is my real voice!"

I didn't believe her so I kept asking

"Are you sure that's your real voice? You're not gonna walk away and then all of a sudden talk in a normal pitch? Your voice is ALWAYS this high?"

"YEAHHHH" she squeaked.

Some of my friends had the WTF face at me. Others walked away laughing because they couldn't believe I had said it. I rolled my eyes and decided to bounce. I'm pretty sure I had homework to procrastinate doing at someone elses house.

the end