It Should Come As No Surprise

I've always had this theory: All white people who aren't Country Western fans are at least closet wiggers, if not overt ones. You know, they use the "N" word, but only when black people aren't around. They rap along to rap music in their car until a minority pulls up next to them. They incorporate street slang when they talk to their friends, leading to bastardized terms like the popular "homey G". You know, the usual wigger things.

However, a couple of weeks ago, I ended up at a club that was mostly white people. The above is, of course, true, but there is something that I overlooked that surfaced itself almost as a revelation of sorts:

White people are still white people.


As much as they try to act black at times, they're still honkies. Case in point: the DJ starts his set off with some Jay-Z ("PSA" if you must know), and there was an "awwww shiiiit" type of getting down to the song. As the set progressed, however, the disc jockey strayed further and further from this end of the spectrum. This is when it all started unraveling itself to me. The DJ was playing classic rock and 80's rock songs and all that and the crowd was going nuts. There was so much muscle white boy dancing going on around me, it was hard to stay focused on anything. Then, if it wasn't already obvious, the kicker had to be when the crowd LOST IT to Kelly Clarkson's "Since You Been Gone." That's when it all beat me on the head - I was surrounded by white people. These same people who danced to Jay-Z and sang along to "I Got 5 On It" were going BALLISTIC for "Since You Been Gone." It was so taken for granted. White people are still white.

The DJs and MC weren't however. The DJ was black and so was the MC who was wearing a sweatsuit and had long dreads. At first, I was like YO WTFBBQ??? But it didn't take long for it to dawn on me that this is how they get white girls, so I wasn't gonna hate on the playa or the game. Don't knock the hustle and whatnot. Even though the dude was a dork, but whatever, that's what white girls go for, since they're a bit more approachable/funny to them.

That night was realer than any chappelle show commentary to me, but maybe that's because i've been inundated with reruns. Either way, it's something to not forget. They're Bros not Brothas.